I have a cookie bake to plan. I'm apparently hosting Christmas Eve again this year; it should be "we" are hosting, but let's be real. St. Nick comes tomorrow night. My brother-in-law is coming into town today for a job fair and I need to see if he'll be here for dinner tomorrow. The same brother-in-law and his family will be moving back to Colorado next week - I don't expect that I'll have a part in that, but I suppose hubby will be helping them at some point. It was my intent to wrangle the kids last night to deal with the tree, but I, instead, had to waste a couple hours doing totally inane surveys for our stupid insurance. However, some take-charge child (I believe it was my 14 y.o.) started decorating the tree on their own - God love 'em, but now there's a drifting pile of ornament wrappers around the tree. There's a stack of Giving Tree presents that need to be wrapped by Saturday - I still need to pick up two items. And, oh, yeah. . .Christmas! Do I have lists? No. Do I have ideas? No. Do I have a flippin' clue? Ah, that would be a big fat NO!
Now you add where I find my peace, where I recharge - in the creative arts - and that hasn't happened in well over two months, which probably explains, at least in part, my general malaise. But it's hard, isn't it, when you know the one thing that will help you regroup, recharge and regain control of yourself, you don't feel you can do because of all the other crap that has piled up (literally) around you. Yes, I remember my ranting earlier this year about not making excuses, not making it a reward . . . something about it being a priority. But priorities get shuffled no matter how hard you try to keep some things at the top of your list.
I am participating in the December Daily project - though not quite with the same amount of vigor as in the past, but it is something. I remembered yesterday my perpetual enrollment in Journal Your Christmas and realized I wasn't getting my emails, so I followed up with that. And the December kits do bring a little tingle to my fingers. Have you seen them? Are you getting one?
I need a plan. I need lists. I need to find my groove (and quickly.) I need a drink.